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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Cool Whip Totally count's as breakfast right? It does if your about to watch MAGIC MIKE!!!!

AHHHHH...

All the kiddo's are gone to school....

2nd load of laundry is in washing machine now....

Dog has been watered and fed......

Hubby is heavily sedated...........

And I am eating Cool Whip....from the bowl, with a spoon......that I lick each time.....

And I Ain't gonna tell the kids.....nope, not until I serve it with pie at desert tonight....and then I think I will wait for them to all have a big mouthful of pie and Cool Whip....and then let them know that I ATE FROM THE BOWL AND LICKED THE SPOON EVERYTIME... Neineerr, neineer.....

You might ask why? 

If you must know: ON A DAILY BASIS I USUALLY CATCH SOMEONE EITHER DRINKING STRAIGHT FROM THE MILK JUG, ORANGE JUICE, OR 2 LITER SODA.......and it's DISGUSTING.......

So I'm gonna try it, and see what the appeal is to do it.....

Here goes:

LICK, SLURP, AND BACK IN THE BOWL.......

Teheee....

OMG, I totally get it... see you can have some of the deliciousness without having to leave evidence behind....like no extra bowl for Mom to wash, no extra cup.....it will be like you never did it right?

NOT A CHANCE

But their theory is flawed? How may you ask?
Well for starters, I can totally tell when someone's been in my Cool Whip,
Second, I CAN SEE THE BACKWASH FLOATING IN THE 2 LITER SODA.... 
and 3rd....I know ALL (it's a gift y'all, don't hate)

Oh, but back to why i'm eating Cool Whip at 9 am, besides to get some payback to my kids?????????????
And why is Hubby Heavily Sedated?

Cause I'm about to watch......MAGIC MIKE......WITH CHANNING TATUMN.....

OK for my sister Cheryl.......It is totally a movie about MAGIC TRICKS.....Kay????

And for everyone else, it is gonna be 1 hour of Cool Whip Spoon Licking Deliciousness.......I'm gonna fast forward thru all those, um compromising scenes...YEAH RIGHT....
I meant to type, I will be fast forwarding thru all the non-essential scenes......

And i'm leaving the Cool Whip beside me, because I AM AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO ME IF I LICKED MY TV SCREEN........
hmmm, to bad my little one's at school.....I could give him a dollar to LICK THE TV and see what happens...
Just kidding, no need to call Child Services, I would never make my kid LICK THE TV......
I might like, peek around the corner if one of the kiddo's double dogged dared the other one to LICK THE TV.......but wouldn't everyone?

So, no one call for the next hour or so...
..I'll be watching MAGIC MIKE, and LICKING THE TV, I MEAN COOL WHIP SPOON......

Oh, and don't come over.....you know, in case I can't control myself and I LICK THE TV SCREEN, AND LIKE GET STUCK TO IT LIKE THAT ONE CHRISTMAS SHOW WHERE THE KIDS TONGUE GETS STUCK TO THE POLE.....
OR, IF I GET ELECTROCUTED, IT WOULDN'T BE A PRETTY SIGHT....

So.....I'm off to LICK watch MAGIC MIKE..........
And if anyone see's or talks to my Mama, or my sister Cheryl.....IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT MAGIC TRICKS.....KAY?????PLEASE????

Off to lick the Cool Whip Spoon,
And Maybe find a little of the "ME" i've been looking for...(see previous post)

Jamie

PS
I'll let you know how it was.....after I've recovered and washed the Cool Whip from my chin.......

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I don't even know who I am anymore.....

Like, I know my name is Jamie, and i'm thirty-six, errr, 29. I know I am a Wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter  aunt, taxi, maid, laundry room attendant, finder of lost socks, football mom, cook, you get what I mean..........

But I can't find the ME in ME anymore......Sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of her, like after a hot shower and the mirror is foggy and I wipe it....and maybe just maybe, I catch a glimpse......I can't be sure though.

I've been a wife and mother for over 19 years.........

I know it didn't happen overnight......

I just know that it happened......

I LOST ME......

I try hard to remember what I was like before the Little's were here and life happened.....

I don't even remember what my favorite color was/is?

In the still of the night when everyone is asleep, I try, really try to dig deep and remember........It's not like I have amnesia or anything. I can clearly remember having little black dresses and several pair of high heel shoes, like the good kind......I remember matching shoes with my handbag, wearing all the right accessories.

And this was after 2 kids.....
It was far easier to get a baby sitter for 2 than for like 7.....

Anyway, back to my point.....I know, just know, that the former Me is in there somewhere.....it's probably hiding behind too many episodes of Barney (for the 17 y/o) and TelleTubbee's for the 15 y/o.........Bob the Builder, Spongebob, etc........

Or maybe it's EMBARRASSED by how my/it's body looks now....I mean I did House like a ton of kids, so i'm not like bikini ready (or ever will be.....5 c-sections people)....But i'm not hideous....I am what I am.....

A skinny girl stuck in a mama's body........
And i'm ok with that......i think.....

But I wanna find ME again.....and I will continue on until I find Me....

You'll know it's me....I'll be the Fabulous Mom in Target, wearing a nice dress, with matching high heels and purse..... ear rings and jewelry on.....even Perfume.....and my kids will all look like those kids in the Belk ads...and all will behave beautifully.......

Yeah right,
I'll be the mom in sweat pants, smeared with peanut butter and boogers, wearing mismatched socks, no jewelry except my wedding ring, a book bag for a purse, and I will probably smell like bleach and farts....not mine of course, but the fart smell does tend to hang around in my van.....

And oh yeah,
My kids will be the kids that are tearing up the dollar section at Target, picking their nose, and the Teenagers will be acting like they don't know, or belong to me......

Until I find ME, The Me you get smells of bleach and boys farts......
Jamie
I think.....


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Having complete conversations in your head is normal right?

So, how are all y'all doing? I know it's been a long time since I posted, but, life with all these kids seems to take over and things like: blogging, brushing your teeth and your hair (although hopefully with not the same brush) and shaving both your legs in 1 shower, oh yeah and trying to be a good mom takes precedence over blogging.

But you know what? I NEED TO BLOG!!! See, I already talk to my self on a regular basis...I mean full on conversations in my head.....Why do you ask? for some ADULT CONVERSATION GUYS......I mean I have my husband, bur unless your fluent in grunts and uh-huh, and flatulence, well he's pretty much useless in the gab department. I mean I start talking about outfits that are on sale 75%  off and matching shoes and purses, and his eyes pretty much glaze over.

I have friends but lets face it, I'm the old lady who lived in a shoe that has so many kids that she doesn't know what to do......so if I talk about getting together with them it goes something like this: Did you hear about the sale going on at the mall? There are supposed to be some great deals.....at this point I have to admit that no, I didn't know about the sale because every TV we own is turned to some kids channel or football game.........then they look at me with pity.....anyways, so we make plans to go, and I get all excited cause, um, I've had a baby either hanging from a boob or a hip for 17.6 years now, and I am going to get some ME TIME......

Then the night before happens...same as always, 1 of the kids throw up, which in turn makes the kid who was standing near him throw up, which makes me have mouth vomit.......hubby and I manage to get that cleaned up, and sheets, stuffed animals and blankets in the wash....medicine given.....and WE think we got it licked....HAHAHAHA......Until 2 a.m arrives and once again we hear the sound of vomit as it hits the floor/walls/nearby kids/tv/x-box you name it, my kids throw up like that chick from the EXORCIST!!!
And there, as I wipe the walls down, and try not to puke on myself, the first SELFISH tear roles down my face.....I know it's not the kids fault they are sick...but why oh why did they have to do it today???

When I was supposed to get ME time....Now I know that I could leave them with their Father, and older siblings and everything would b-e- o-k....except for everything that they have either thrown up on on even sneezed on will be piled in the laundry room waiting for me to disinfect.....SIGH......

So with much regret, I dial the DIAL OF SHAME and say I can't go, cause 5,6,7,67,91 (just insert a kids name or number here) are sick.......again.....

I'm afraid before too long, they will even forget to invite me cause this happens all the time......
And it's not just with friends, it can be a LONG AWAITED DATE WITH HUBBY WHERE KID TALK IS OFF LIMITS, BUT SEXY TALK ISN'T.........and then on of the RATS gets sick.......

So I guess for now, I'll just have complete conversations in my head ( and sometimes there not always one sided, I've been known to talk to my sisters and mom in my head) and blog more often......so maybe I won't end up in a straight jacket.....although I do like to hug myself every now and again..... :)

Talking to you guys in my head,
Jamie

P.S.
If you find the blog even the tiniest bit funny, pass it along to your friends....I would love more followers, and I have a Facebook page under 2many2count.....I'll reply to every comment, good or bad.....

Friday, October 26, 2012

Drama should be our last names

Hi There.....
A lot has been going on since my last post....
You remember the one, where my husband wrecked MY mini-van....
Need a reminder?
Here's one:


Then after that came the dreaded (by me) high school Homecoming Game, and Homecoming Dance.
Seeing as Man-Child is on the Varsity football team (9-1), and Girl Child is 15, and got invited by a 10th grader things were crazy here......So with 2 kids going, there was much crying, whining, complaining, and just general grouchiness....and that was by me... LOL....

There was a lot going on, and decisions had to be made about what time to come home.............and no, Girl-Child 1 am, IS NEVER GOING TO BE THE RIGHT TIME FOR YOU TO COME HOME......

But Man-Child is 17 y/o and was going to an after party for the football players, and I didn't give him a time to come home.....ever heard of the saying give someone enough rope, and they will hang themselves???  That's what we were doing for our son.......The Dance ended at 11:00, and the after party started after that.....he pulled up at 2:02 am........
I had it all planned.....he wouldn't come home, and i'd have to go to get him....and I was going to go in my ugliest pj's with my hair in curlers, and a baseball bat and, um, convince him to come on home.....
Thank God he and everyone there was spared from that........



That's Girl Child's date.....aren't they sweet?

Girl-Childs ex-boyfriend is giving her grief, and me and her dad is one text away from putting a foot up his butt....either that or let my Man-Child who is 6ft4 and weighs 260, and plays football everyday, get a hold on him....
I know, BAD MAMA....
*I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT I WOULD NEVER SET MAN CHILD LOOSE ON ANYONE, AND I WOULD NOT PUT MY FOOT UP THAT EX TURD MY DAUGHTER HAD DATED BUTT, BUT I WILL AND HAVE CALLED THE COPS FOR HARASSMENT*

OK, I've said my peace on that.....

On a lighter note, I was taking my pit-bull (yes you read that right, we have a pit bull and he is an angel, don't hate the breed) for a walk and I had his leash around my wrist while I made sure that the front door was closed all the way.....Well picture this: me being pulled down my steps face first and dragged in the dirt before he finely  realized that he was in serious trouble and then he stayed still...(AS IT TURNS OUT A NEIGHBORHOOD GIRL DOG IS IN HEAT AND MAKING HIM CRAZY) as I stood up I knew he had pulled my wrist out of socket, and I had angry welts and bruising on my left arm.....When my husband came home, he laughed (the JERK) and said at least I was um, well endowed, as it saved me from my face being scraped on the steps on the way down.....hahahaha....

The song "Earl had to die" by the Dixie Chicks comes to mind......and I do have some black eyed peas.......
Just joking, no i'm not, yes I am.........I think.......

So you see, Drama just seems to find us.....
I wonder if there is a Witness Protection Program for like Drama Families?

I'll leave you with one more pic of my Man-Child..... Number 78.....He's my baby....


Drama filled house full of testosterone, and never a Drama Queen herself,
Jamie

Friday, October 5, 2012

Why does life HAVE to be SO STINKING HARD?

I mean really, come on......I don't know what I did to piss KARMA off, but she is sure kicking my butt from here to there....

Things were looking good.... I got my laundry room floor replaced, and got the parts in for fixing my newish front load washer....I even found $5.00 in the laundry!!! (oh, for those that don't know me, If I find something in the laundry that I have washed and dried, then it TOTALLY becomes mine....I am currently in possession of 2 blue pens, half a pencil, a marker that was washed with good clothes, and a eraser)..

Crazy-Hubby cooked 2 WHOLE NIGHTS IN A ROW.....and the kids cleaned up!!!!!

I should have known that KARMA, or something like it was gonna hit me in the face hard......but I didn't see this one coming.....

Wanna know what it is?

And for Pete's sake, I ain't pregnant again MOM!!!

My mini-van has wrecked itself....all by itself I promise....Scouts Honor???? Oh well, PLUCK IT here goes:

It was raining and my CRAZY-HUBBY wanted to get the mail, but not get soaking wet...So he went in MY VAN!!!

just a side note here: we live in the country people....down a long dirt road.....so it's not as easy as slipping on your robe and flip-flops and walking 20 feet to your mail box.....

OK, so were was I?

Oh yeah, I was at the part where my CRAZY HUBBY, who has seizures (but had been seizure free for about 7 months) took the Van to get the mail.....

I mean what are the odds that he would: get the mail just fine, but because it was raining and the side of the road is muddy, He was driving to the end of the road where there is room to turn around and before he could get there....

 HE HAD A STINKING SEIZURE, HIS FOOT PUSHED THE GAS PEDAL HARDER AND HE HIT A ELECTRICITY POLE, AND HIS HEAD HIT THE WINDSHIELD CRACKING IT INTO LITTLE SPIDER WEBS.....





                      
I had the tv on and was on the computer and I didn't hear anything, and was actually pissed that the Electricity was off.... Meanwhile CRAZY HUBBY was knocked unconscious for a few minutes, managed to get out of the van....AND WALK HOME, WHILE BLEEDING FROM HIS HEAD, AND BRUISES ON HIS CHEST FROM NOT HAVING A SEAT BELT ON!!!!

He came in very calmly and told me that I needed to help him....and I'm all like WHAT? I AM READING A ARTICLE ABOUT SNOOKIE'S BABY AND YOU WANT ME TO STOP???????

THAT'S WHEN HE STEP INTO THE LIGHT....AND I KNEW.....

He held steady long enough to get the dump truck going and haul the crushed minivan out of the road, and I limped back to the house.....

And then he blacked out.....BUT NOT BEFORE HE TOLD THE NEIGHBORS TO WATCH FOR THINGS 1, 2 AND 3 to be getting off the bus.....

What a MAN....

From previous experience we know that it takes about 40 minutes for an ambulance to get here, so I make a
LEAP OF FAITH move and drove the Van to pick up the 2 oldest kids, and go the hospital.....
When we got there, they took him straight back to give him a CT scan......
The result: moderate brain injury, a concussion  and contusions......not to mention the AWESOME not he has on his head or the bruises on his chest....They keep us there for about 12 hours, and they wanted to admit him, but there was no beds there, and they would have to take him to Greenville.....My husband declined, and said that we could do the same things that they are doing at the hospital, so we came home.....

It's a miracle that he didn't get hurt worse, or killed.....
We have Full Coverage insurance on the van, but have a high deductible, so we are just gonna have to try to fix it with duct tape, and Zip-Ties....
We are replacing the left cv axle as I type this (and when I say we I mean CRAZY-HUBBY & his friend C)
We will have to have the drivers side panel replaced......
A new head light and blinkers too...
A whole new bumper....
And a new Windshield......

As far as CRAZY-HUBBY GOES, he is having trouble with forming the right words in a sentence...he is off balance, he can't eat or sleep....sometimes doesn't remember who I am, and where he's at....but the doctor told us that it could be that way for a few days....and that he would hurt for a few Weeks...

Lesson learned here: don't let CRAZY HUBBY'S  Bootie even set in the drivers seat....and hide the keys...

WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO STINKING HARD?

So we can appreciate the little things........
and because GOD and KARMA have a Heck of a sense of humor!!!!

HAVING A CRUSH ON MY MAN, AND JUST HAVING A CRUSHED MINI-VAN,
JAMIE

P.S. here's a bonus picture of the OTHER side of my van, that until last weekend looked good...What you are actually seeing is MAN-CHILDS butt impression while he was trying to help get the van unstuck...

Saturday, September 22, 2012

My computer is fixed, kinda

So have you missed me??????

No really have you missed me???????

*cricket, cricket*

Fine, but I've missed y'all...

So HP kinda fixed my computer, but it is slower now, and I don't know how to tell if they gave me the same CPU as I had before........
But for now it works......

So let me hear from you about things you would like to talk about and i'll do it......

Bloggingly yours,
Jamie




































































































































































































































































































































Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Ok, my computer is going to HP shop today, so I will be back soon!

Hey, I hope that my loyal readers will forgive me for not posting in the last few days. But my laptop is broken. and it is the only computer in the house with internet on it (that helps us make sure that our kids are protected from the bad stuff on the internet). HP tells me that it can take up to 2 weeks to fix, but the last time I sent it in for repair it only took one week. Hope Springs eternal...... I've got so much to blog about with school starting and all, and many pictures to show, but they will have to wait until I get this fixed.
My hope is that you will check back with me frequently *and don't forget me : ( * and maybe re-read some of my older posts. I value each and everyone of you readers and I don't wont to loose any one of you. So please bare with me while the computer is in the shop.
I am already going thru internet withdrawals, not getting to read the fightingofffrumpy blog that I read, and all and the others blogs that I find hilarious, some that you can find links for here. And i'm going to miss my friends that I have made new and old on my journey thru blogging. Oh and Facebook.....that's a tuffy for me....It's like my crack (this according to Crazy-Hubby) but what does he know, hes's crazy after all.

HAVING COMPUTER WITHDRAWALS ALREADY,
JAMIE

Monday, August 27, 2012

I WILL BE GONE FOR AWHILE, BUT I'LL BE BACK!!!

So my laptop is broken, and it is beyond repair. So off to HP it is going. And I will be back on when I get it back....hopefully in a few days and maybe a new one.

SORRY,
JAMIE

Sunday, August 26, 2012

WE LOST THE FOOTBALL GAME....THEN WE WENT TO A BAR....

So for the second times in the last two years, we lost to Jacksonville High. 
That game was rigged from the start.....We were fighting the refs all night...... I know that everybody says that, but its the truth and I can prove it by the videos that I took.....

Anyway to get to the game we called upon our friend R. Her son is #65....So after the game, we went out too a bar. Now for those who know me, know that I don't drink very often. As in once every 3 years or so.....But since we had paid the baby sitter, and we were free for the night we went out. 

It was Karaoke night there, and Crazy-Hubby sang 2 songs *my ears are still healing their self *

It was cool at first, but I didn't know much about bars except their real expensive  to drink at. So Crazy-Hubby gets one drink and starts bsing with everyone, and he is having a great time. Problem is that one on song you did a dance too, and this young chick was all up on him.....and I gave her the look that said "ima gonna kick your little A$$ ALABAMA SIDE...i mean come on GET OFF MY MAN!!!! 

I wanted to tell the little b!tch that he had 7 kids and was hurt in a work accident, and did she wanna take on all of that, raising kids and all.....but alas, the song was over....

Well then he is so plastered that he started hugging and kissing everyone on their cheek that was on our table....No biggie. I waked in with 20.00 for us and we were only supposed to use that, but oh no, some chic is buying his drink....

So after all this (the ass grinding and hugging kissing tree, I decide that it is better to go outside than to kill some skank and Crazy Hubby....

Wanna know how long it took for him to realize that I was gone? 23 whole friggin minutes. And people ask me why I don't drink. And the answer is I have to "baby sit" Crazy-Hubby, so I cant have any fun......

So he convinces out to me to come in and he was sorry that he was dancing that way and yada, yada, yade....

I start to feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and my mommie instincts kick in, and I look up and these 3 guys are trying to fight him. WTH/?
 So I run up there and put  myself in between the two jerks and try to diffuse the situation, but to know avail...but at least they kept up the guy code of not throwing the punches while a woman is in the way :)  So anyway, his friends cool off him, and we cool off Crazy-Hubby....

I was tense no doubt about it. My hubby is 6ft 4 and weighs about 260, so it was hard to keep him back. I told him that's why we don't go to that side of town, too many Marines, and their boys are on that side of town......

After the show down, it was closing time and we had to escort him out......
This is why I am sooo happy that he only drinks like this once in a blue room......

We had a Designated Driver, but I did not drink anyway cause i know how I have to baby sit......

This was supposed to be fun, but I cant see how making a fool out of yourself's dancing (badly) and singing karaoke (badly) and hugging and kissing people that we just me, beside R......

Any way, that;s the last time I go out with him to a bar. It isn't fair that he gets to let loose,while I do the same thing I do everyday BABYSIT........

BETTER TO BE PISSED OFF, THAN BEING PISSED ON,
Jamie
a,k,a
The meanest person in the world....

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I CHOKED MY CHICKEN :) THEN MET A BEAR

Choking my chicken.....

And meeting a bear.......

Don't you just LOVE my TITLE???

Before I start this story, I need to give you a little background on it. First of all for the past 3 nights, a bear has been coming all the way in our yard to the shed. I would say that this was a "teenage" bear......not like a grizzly bear or anything, just big enough to be really scary. All the neighbors had heard the noise the same time that we did, and it scared them too.....Our theory is that since we (all 3 of our neighbors) all had our backyards cut down and logged out of here,thus leaving the with out a hiding place our home that the bear's are MAD!!!!

Oh, and this one time me and my Crazy-Hubby were deer hunting in a tree stand and had been there for a long time and not seen anything, so we decided to leave....crazy-hubby told me to be perfectly still, so i froze, he pointed down, and low and behold there was a bear sitting under our stand....and it stayed there for about an hour or so, and don't you know that when you are frozen, that your noise itches, and your panties goes up your crack, and you have a cramp in your leg, and YOU CAN'T DO A  THING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THERE IS A STINKING BEAR UNDER YOU?  FYI we finally made it out of the trees 2 hours after we decided to leave the dear stand.~ ~ ~ ~ Just a little fun filled story I wanted to share~ ~ ~ ~

Now back your regular post.

So yesterday began just like any other normal day....or as ordinary as we get....
Then I sent the kids out to feed the chickens and the dogs.......and they came running back screaming that a chicken is out and it is bleeding.( I didn't think that the bear would come out in the day, so i sent them out there) I KNOW, I KNOW, BAD MAMA

Anyway I get dressed, it has started to rain......freakin' great. So since this is something that Man-Child takes care of, and he's gone for the weekend, so well it was up to me.

On the way to the chicken pen, I notice that one of our hunting puppies was on the roof of their pen...Now mind you that there pen is about 3 feet in to the air......So we make a detour, had to get wood and nails and make it where "KING HARRY POTTER" couldn't get out....p.s. we let our kids name our dogs.....
So we get that fixed, and i washed the poop out that had acquired overnight and we were done with that.

So off we go to CHOKE MY CHICKEN..... We (me and THING 1 who is 9) tried the "ole chase it to me trick"...didn't work. Then that darn chicken went into the prickly bush and I had to follow so it went like this:
ow ow ow ouch @#&%..... You get my drift.....

Finally I  CHOCKED  catch the chicken, which in and of itself was a miracle, because we had chickens when we were little and I was chasing a baby chick around and its Mother got ticked and pecked me on the forehead...So I put it our chicken back in the pen, and set about looking for how it got out in the first place. Wasn't to long and I found it....

SOMETHING, WE ASSUME THE BEAR, had actually just mauled the cage (thing a big square enclosure divided in half, with netting on all sides and the TOP.... Now remember that the TOP is covered in wire...
So I set about putting zip ties on the parts that was mangled. It wasn't easy and I noticed that the top was hanging really low, like something had been "on" it, or leaning "on" it.....So we (Thing 1 and I) went thru each netting and filled in the holes........and he doesn't really like the male chickens, cause the have the spurs on their feet and they peck really hard.....So after about an hour in the pouring rain, we were done. And we were Quite PROUD of our self's. 

Fast forward to about 8 pm right around when it gets almost dark, and we have our windows open cause *hello, no a/c this year* and we heard the same sound that we had hear the previous 2 nights, so I did what any loving wife does, I WOKE MY CRAZY HUBBY UP, ARM HIM WITH A GUN, AND A FLASHLIGHT, AND SENT HIS BUTT OUT THE DOOR...   ****What, I figure that if the bear eats him it would be one last mouth I have to feed****  Don't worry our neighbor had hear it to and was outside with a flashlight shined in the direction of the noise we heard....so my crazy-hubby went and searched all around the chicken cage, in the rain, but the mud made it too hard to see the marks, so we think he heard and or saw the neighbor or cray-hubby and took off.

After I explained how the fence looked, and the direction that the cage was opened, he said it had to be that bear trying to get a chicken and manged to get an arm in and pull our poor chicken(this chicken likes to stand on top of the chicken house making him an easy grab) out and it got hurt but got away, but then again we had turned the light on, and that may have scared the bear away......

Now, we will know not to send the little ones outside after dark, until WE KILL THAT DARN BEAR.....

CHOCKING MY CHICKEN AND MEETING A BEAR AT THE SAME TIME IS AWKWARD,
Jamie

p.s.
Our Football game got cancelled and it is being played tonight, so GO STALLIONS!!!



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Friday, August 24, 2012

15 RANDOM RANT'S AND RAVES ABOUT MY LIFE IN GENERAL

This is going to be a post about the random sh@t that goes on at my house and in my life any day of the week:

1. I can't seem to get 8 hours asleep, without being woken up by: the dog, Crazy-hubby, or a kid....

2. I know i'm not PREGNANT, but I have to pee allot during the night, while I climb over Crazy-hubby and our PitBull Capone...

3. I never thought i'd say this, but I am to old to watch Sesame Street 4 times a day. It used to be my favorite show to watch with the kids, since I grew up on it.....but they keep introducing different puppets, and now it just isn't the same for me... (MY KIDS STILL LOVE IT)

4. I can't wait until school starts on Monday, and then I can have: a sh@t by myself, shower and shave both legs AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Oh, and take a nap and totally not feel bad about it.

5. What is up with my teenagers lately? They have become mouthy little things and it is rubbing off on the THINGS.....
oh, and I never was mouthy as a teenager, I was an ANGEL......

6. Do you think guys have PMS?, cuz my crazy-hubby seems to be PMSing really bad this week.

7. How many times does my A$$ have to hit the toilet water,  before all the males in my house realize that the seat stays down.

8. Why is it that when we go ANYWHERE, the kids have to GO TO THE POTTY....I mean, do they like the smell of the toilets at Walmart? eewww

9. Why does my crazy-hubby gets that glazed over look on his face when i'm trying to tell him about something????

10. Why does all my vehicles breakdown on me? I mean really, what is going on? If someone has a curse on us, please lift the curse.

11. And why do little boys always pick their noses? And then eat it....
I'll give you an example, THING 2 was picking his nose AT THE DINNER TABLE, and when I said stop, he put the boogers in his mouth and I asked him why? He says "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."   Whatever dude, It's your nose, so pick away..

12. Why do I even try to clean the house, when it gets destroyed in 10 minutes...

13. Why does my Crazy-hubby DRIVE ME INSANE????

14. Do my kids really think that I don't know whats going on? I am a veteran mom of 17 years and I have developed eyes in the back of my head.

15. When will my Crazy-hubby and his friends fix this house? I've been looking at my new counter tops and kitchen sink, my tile for both the kitchen and bathroom, i have beautiful pedestal sinks that the bottom looks like a column and I even have the toilet to match it. Also we have the vinyl for the boys room and the laundry room. I pass it everyday, and run my hand lovingly across them every day. 

When we finish this house it will be a kick butt house.....!! Expect that in about 5 years, when my taste/trends have passed and I no longer want the things we have already paid for....

I guess that's it.....
Oh, and my Man-child is playing football tomorrow night....It's Stallions v/s Jacksonville....Should be a good one...I will update with pictures tomorrow night.

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME B*TCH,

JAMIE
a.k.a.
P.M.Sing mom...

P.S.Please leave me a comment, I can see from my stats that people are reading my page, so why not sign up for me....It's quick and easy, and I promise that I won't like sell people your email address or anything, so sign up for me.....You will feel all warm and snuggly inside!!!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

THE DREADED SCHOOL SUPPLY LIST and HURRICANE'S

I swear.......

If there is nothing that I hate more is trying to get school supplies at Walmart......

You would think an Apocalypse was coming, with all the pushing and a shoving....

And the list get's bigger and bigger each year..........

We've already spent 200.00 on the basics for five kids, but the older ones won't get there's until Friday, and so it will be a mad dash to claim the remaining school supplies......

Any way,

The Van is still not fixed....My Poor Crazy-Hubby is going insane, trying to figure out how to pay for all the things that we need.......

We are on a limited budget and we need to make sure that's it's enough to last through the year.....

On a litter note, Today THING 3 found a caterpillar and brought it to me to see.....
Him and his brothers studied it some more, then they returned it back to the tree where it came from....

And we are busy getting ready for Hurricane Season.....
So far we have :
2 oil lamps
a generator
utility candles
crayons and coloring book
some canned fruit and meat
and some water.....
we also have a battery operated radio

And we need more.....

A hurricane can be really scary, we were in IRENE and she blew off part of our roof, and lot of shingles. and also it blew our well..... the pump was leaned over and everything...plus we had some broken windows....

So for now, we will hope that one doesn't now, as the ground here is soaked. The pond across the  road from us is almost to the top, and when it over flow, it always washes out our driveway.... Bummer
I thought i'd leave you with a few pictures, since this post was kinda, well, boring...

                                       nobody wanted to be seen, as we waited for the rain to stop


                                                        This is Crazy-hubby and J.R.

                                           Feed a man/boy to fish, he'll eat for tonight
                                           Teach a boy to fish and he'll eat forever
                                     

UN CREATIVE TODAY,

Jamie

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Leave me a Comment

I would love to hear from you guys who read my blogs. And if you are a blogger yourself, I will totally follow you.....So leave a comment or two
I love see the comments

Thanks,
Jamie

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A GOOD HEAD JOB

hehe...

DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?

O.K.

Let me define a GOOD HEAD JOB to you....

It means my Crazy-hubby actually did something right....

I mean seriously we been together for over 10 years and he just now got it right...

Still curious?

OK....  I confess ...

The Head Gasket in my van cracked and we have been working on getting it fixed...It's not a easy task neither...

I know ZERO about cars.....but none the less I helped.... and we have it all off....now we just got to get the new gasket kit tomorrow. And hopefully THIS TIME IT WILL WORK........

By the time we get done replacing this, it seems like we have replaced everything on it, so maybe it will run for a while without breaking down........

In other news, Man-Child and his friend went to Walmart and got me the RIGHT size of vacuum belt.....
Now I will BE FORCED    can vacuum this house.....It really needs it.....

It's getting closer to school starting and i'm nervous because we still don't have everything on the kids school list....
And I don't get Man-Child and Girl-child's list until Open house on Friday.....
It looks like it's gonna be a mad frantic race to get all the supplies.....

And I HATE Walmart...

I'll let you guys now tomorrow if my Crazy-Hubby has done a good HEAD JOB.....on my van.....

Perverts..... LOL

HEAD JOB ON MY MIND,
Jamie

A message to my van, and all the other appliances that doesn't work

So  TODAY MY VAN BLEW A HEAD GASKET...

Just great, right before school starts...
so I would like to apologize to my van for my post titled "This wouldn't happen if I had my suburban...

Here goes:

Dearest mini van, I am sorry for making fun about you being slow, and that you were so little that I got bullied in traffic. 
Please forgive me!!!!
And fix yourself tonight...
You are my only vehicle right now, and I need you to run....

It's 200.00 for a new Head gasket..... And we don't have have the 200.00 to fix it !!

So my dearest Van, please forgive me... I promise not to kick you every time you over heat....

AND NOW A MESSAGE FOR ALL MY OTHER APPLIANCES THAT DOESN'T WORK PROPERLY...

Dearest Dishwasher,

I have hated you since the day that I bought you.
You have been nothing but trouble.....
So off to the dump you go......
P.S. you left spots all over my dishes...
So you'r fired....

Dearest A/C in my house, 

You suck and are the biggest pain in the but....
And to fix you, it's gonna be 200.00 also...
So you SUCK

Dearest NEW washer,
We bought you on sell, and I was excited to have a new front loader washing machine....
But now the Start button is broke, and we can't ever seem to get up with the GE man to fix it...
I loved you from the Beginning  but since you broke down, you make me want to kick you...

OH, and all the new light bulbs we got.... you know the new ones that are like curly shaped and cost a lot of money.....The box said it would last for years, and save us on our electricity bill.....But you STINK....
in the span of the last week, all the light bulbs that we bought just a month or two ago, went out, all with in the same week....WTH?

Oh yeah, and since i'm PMSing I cried and got sick, because how much more more can I take?

Apologizing to my van, 
and giving the other appliances the Stank eye,

2 steps forward, 10 steps back,
Jamie



Sunday, August 19, 2012

Living in SURVIVAL MODE

What started off as an ordinary day, turned ANYTHING other than ordinary.

Around 2 years ago my Crazy-Hubby was diagnosed with DIABETES and EPILEPSY...
His blood sugar level was over 600....and the seizures were coming on the hour every hour....
While he was in the hospital for a week, we were in SURVIVAL MODE........
And when he came home,we were still running in Survival Mode, trying to navigate through the road to recovery.......

It's be over 2 years,  and we are still living in SURVIVAL MODE.....

Just coping with the fact that my Crazy-Hubby could have easily have died.....and that I had to take him kicking and screaming just to get him in the van to go to the E.R. in the first place...made it very easy to stay in SURVIVAL MODE........

Things like:

Dust on the walls,
dust on the picture frames....
and in general all those Little Things, that add up to Big things...well they just DON'T SEEM TO MATTER ANYMORE......

And now, over 2 years later I realize that we are still living in SURVIVAL MODE........

Does it work? Nope

Does it make you fell good inside to know that your house is trashed?  Nope

But the time that we spent bonding more as a family, and awaiting for the answers to WHY HIM? WHY US???????  

PRICELESS...

But now is the time to move on, and make a way through SURVIVAL MODE....into an ORDINARY MODE..... wait, what was I thinking??? We are so not ORDINARY....just ask our neighbors.... :)

And if you are wondering what I mean when I say we are Living In Survival mode?

It's like this......

You do the dishes
and take out the trash
you wash the clothes
you take a shower
you vacuum the carpet

And that's it....you find out that the Things that used to bother you, no longer do.....

Until it's been 2 years and your house looks like it needs to be demolished......

Kids go back to school in 8 days....

And then I'm gonna kick SURVIVAL MODE'S A$$

I'M NOT A PACK RAT, I'M NOT...I SWEAR,

Jamie





Saturday, August 18, 2012

So I RODE A FIREMAN TODAY

SO I RODE A FIREMAN TODAY.......

Say what?

Come again?

Thought that would get your attention....

Just joking.... I clearly didn't really RIDE a FIREMAN today....You know with my CRAZY-HUBBY being there and all.... *wink, wink*

But, my kids got to RIDE in a FIRETRUCK today at my nephews party.....

And they got to watch him shoot the fire hose, and to see how far it goes in the air....

Pretty cool........

I REALLY REALLY LICKED IT!!!

I MEAN I REALLY REALLY LIKED IT....

There was bunch of happy kids, I mean when else are they ever gonna get to ride in a FIRE TRUCK one day?

Unless they become a Fire Man one day......
Well let's just put that one on the LIST OF THINGS I DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO BE...
Not because  I don't like Fire Man, it's just a dangerous job....

Anyway, the kids had a blast and so did the parents.....
The Fire Men told the kids all about the different parts of the Truck and what they did...
All in all it was a FANTASTIC Birthday party for my nephew....

Here some pics....Hope you like them....






And if you were wondering about the football game last night, we KICKED BUTT!!!!!

It was 27-7....

Go SOUTHWEST STALLIONS!!!!!!!

Here's some pictures of the game...




#65 call's me Mom 2......#78 is Man-Child


SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A FIREMAN  FIRETRUCK,
Jamie
















Friday, August 17, 2012

It's Friday,and You know what time it is? High School Football!!!

I'll  make this short.....

Really,  I promise.......

Like really short........

I swear....................

Where was I? Oh yeah, It's Friday and it's the first High School Foot ball game of the season......

YES....

Go Southwest Stallions......





FOOTBALL ON MY MIND,

Jamie

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I HAVE A KLEENEX SHOVED UP MY NOSE

Yes, you read that right. I do have a Kleenex up my nose. 

Because sometime last night the left side of my nose decided to turn into a FOUNTAIN OF SNOT.....yuuuummmmyyy.....let me say that again

A FOUNTAIN OF SNOT!!!

While the right side is so stopped up that i'm having trouble breathing...

Who has a cold in the Summer? HUH? That would be ME

So since we are talking about things that are in my nose, I thought we would discuss things that crazy-hubby and I have had to retrieve from our kids nose.

These are in no particular order:

Just last night, THING 3, got a piece of our eggshell matress thingie that goes on top of our regular mattress Stuck in his left nostril..  He almost sucked it right up his nose, before I could calm him down....it came out *WET*......eeewwwww

Not 1 but 2 LEGO'S....they are hard on your nose and hard on your feet!! Ouch
* take note, Lego's are BANNED in our house. Next to be BANNED is that darn fire truck and it's ladder*

Gum....Like a wad of gum.....and when I got it out, he still wanted to CHEW IT!!!!

a dime.......

Sweet peas...

part of a cupcake...and when that happened it was So hard to get out because it just crumbles, and trying to tell your 3 year old NOT to inhale, is like telling a VAMPIRE not to BITE you.


THESE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WE'VE HAD TO GO TO THE ER TO EX RAY OR RETRIEVE:

Man-child swalloed a dime and a nickel......* we just had to WAIT to get those out* GROSS!!!

D.H. swalloed a penny.....same situation as above

When Girl-Child was about 2, we were on vacation and she got into my bag and DRANK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF GRAPE DIME-A-TAP .......of to the ER we went to have her stomach pumped with charcoal... to this day, she will not drink any medicine that is GRAPE...hmm,, I wonder why?

So what have your kids shoved up their nose or swallowed that wasn't meant to be shoved or swallowed?

Let me know.......

My Crazy-Hubby say's I still Look SEXY, with a KLEENEX UP MY NOSE....

FOUNTAIN OF SNOT,
JAMIE







Monday, August 13, 2012

REDNECK POOL PARTY

Hello again. How are all of y'all? Me I am good. Man-Child is at football, Girl-child is babysitting, Crazy-Hubby is gone... It's-just me and the THINGS....

So have you ever wondered WHY I call them the THINGS? Well below is some pictures, and a short video   to answer your question. Now mind you, I was goggling the CORRECT vacuum cleaner belt (did you realize that there are like thousands of belts out there?) and took a short bathroom break and this is what I came out to see:
                                                                 THE THINGS
                                         
                                             NOTICE THE HAND-FULL OF MUD?


                                           AND NOW THE HAND IS EMPTY?


                                                   WATER DOWN HIS PANTS



                                                                AND THEN THIS

And a short video clip:


See what I mean? I'm surprised that I have any hair left on my head......
But you gotta LOVE their REDNECK INGENUITY..........................

NOT A MUD WRESTLING MAMA,
Jamie

Sunday, August 12, 2012

You know your a Mom of Many When:

You know your a Mom Of Many when:

There is a line to go to the bathroom....always

When you (the adults) go to take a shower, you have to:
Take out 10 matchbox cars, 1 firetruck with a ladder that YOU stepped on while getting in the shower.

Unstop the drain that's filled with Girl-Child's Hair pins....

Remove (after you are in the shower and have stepped on it) the plastic little things that are put on razors....

Realize that your youngest has used the drain as his own personal cheese grater, just he used THE SOAP..
.
Get into the shower only to find out that Girl-child had used up ALL the HOT WATER...(she now is the last to get showers) And she used like 4 towels....I mean seriously chick, 1 for the hair, 1 for the body.

AND

The Huge jar of Peanut butter you just bought last week, is now gone....

You bring home 2lbs of Turkey meat, 2 lbs of ham, and 1 lb of pepperoni, and the next day it is all gone....

You need to have 2 or more crock pots.

When you make homemade mashed potatoes, it takes the whole 10 lb bag to feed your family.

You go through a Gallon of milk a day!!

You go through a roll of Scott Tissue toilet paper a day.

You don't even bother buying the cheap paper towels, you just use a dirty towel to clean up the mess.

You find that you are quite pleased with yourself when you finish all the laundry in the house....only to have to start over again after everyone's had their daily shower.

You do over 7 loads of laundry a day, and you consider it a "light" laundry day.

When you go to tell one of your kids to stop doing something, you run down the list of all their brothers and sister names, but still can't get THAT child's name right.....

Or, when the kids are in the next room and you say " Whoever is doing that stop" and everyone stops, because everyone was doing something that they shouldn't.

You say things like: GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF.....wait for it.....YOUR BROTHER'S NOSE!!

They use the littlest one as a distraction (oh mommie i love you so much, your are the best mommie in the world) so they can get to YOUR STASH OF CANDY.........
I swear, my kids can sniff out chocolate like a hunting dog can sniff out a deer...

One time, I hid a chocolate bar in my underwear drawer (i know gross, but hey i got to do what i got to do) thinking that they would not touch mama's underwear.....But NO, they still found the chocolate

I'm sure there is more, but it is getting late, as we are trying to get back on our school schedule.
Right down to doing "homework" that I have printed off from the computer......

Many Loads of Laundry waiting to be folded,
Jamie





IF I COULD SLAP MY 17 YEAR OLD SELF, I WOULD

Ok, that last post have been in my "draft" box for a while....

And I felt like it was time to be "published"

Are all of you still with me?

If you are then here's my next post:

We have a 17 year old Man-child. That in and of itself does not bother me. So what does bother me?
The fact that at 17 I was married to my first husband...*not pregnant, Man-Child was not born until 1year and 9 months into the marriage*

I WAS FREAKING MARRIED Y'ALL....

I look at Man-child with wonder in my eyes and heart, because at his age I was married and graduating from high school and working 2 jobs.......AND I DON'T WANT THAT FOR HIM......

Thank God, that he is a Very good student and has a decent shot at getting into a real college......
And I Thank God every day that getting married is NOT EVEN ON HIS MIND.......
FOOT BALL IS, AND HANGING OUT WITH HIS BUDDIES IS......
Thank you GOD.

Then the 15 y/o girl/child.....I was 15 with a steady boyfriend of 3 years.....Hi, where ever you are W.M.G...and then he dumped me, so I went out with his best friend.... and then BAM........

I was 16 and was engaged!!!!

What if this happens to her? It won't It won't It won't!!! I keep telling myself....
She is a lot different than me, and marriage and babies are the last thing on her mind....

What i'm trying to say, is that I want so much more for them. I want them to go and FINISH college and get degrees ans jobs and all that boring and adult stuff.

I know that that is probably every mom and dad's dream, but i'm no different.....

I AM saying that getting married at 17 WAS a mistake, but 2 of the most wonderful gifts in the world I got from that marriage.

And I am happy to say that I am HAPPILY married now to my crazy hubby......and he gave me 3 of the most cutest, meanest, love their daddy and mommiest kids in the world that i'm crazy about.

And that my ex is Happily married to his wife.

So I guess that when all things considered, Neither me, nor my crazy hubby would take back our relationships with our ex's that led us to have 7 of the most wonderful kids in the world.......

So it's with anticipation that we wait to see what our teens have in store for them/us....

We hope they learn from our experiences and keep moving forward with their plans for college and all....

So in short, we hope that don't become just like US as we were as teenagers.... LOL

Anybody out there want to pull their hair out trying to remain calm as our Teenagers become adults?

If so, let me know....

I'LL CHOKE THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF THEM IF THEY COME HOME ENGAGED AS TEENS,
Jamie...
a.k.a
mama with access to a gun






AN EXPLANATION

I think yall all know a little bit about me by now. There are some things that you are all probably wondering about, like the whole his mine and ours thing. I don't like to comment on which ones are "MINE" which ones are "HIS" and which ones are "OURS". But just in case you are new here, or just want a review....,,,,,,   Here goes:

I have a 17 y/o old son named Man-Child.
I have a 15 y/o old daughter named Girl-Child
He has a 16 y/o old son named J.S.
He has a 13 year y/o son named D.H.
We have a 9 y/o son named THING 1
We have a 8 y/o son named THING 2
and last, but certainly not least............
We have a 7 y/o son named THING 3

*all names have been Changed so that they can be anonymous to fake names that I chose for the embarrassing factor.*

Now here comes the hard part::
Man-child, Girl-child have been with my crazy-hubby and I since 2002...I mean that i've have them since birth, but the Crazy Hubby has been with them since 2002.
And obviously the THINGS have been with both of us since we were born,

We don't like to just say hey, we only have 5 cause that is not at all true, We have 7 and that is true, He treats *MINE* just like they are his. And except for the DNA, THEY ARE HIS..... If you don't believe me, look at the last post or so, and see Crazy-Hubby and Man-Child, they look alot alike, and if I didn't tell anyone, then nobody would ever guess.

J.S, and D.H. live a few states away, and we don't get to see them that much any more.
I breaks mine and hubby's heart to not see them everyday, but it is what it is.

There was a time for a few years where we had all the kids together, but then they moved.
This is why I never say much about them in ways of doctors appoinments and school and silly stuff they do.

Now maybe you know why I only talk about 5 kids usually....
And maybe I should change my Profile, where it talks about 6 boys+1 girl+crazy-hubby=2many2count.....
But I won't, because that would mean that i don't acknowledge His boys as mine, BUT I DO....And mabye one day we will all be under one roof again. I love them just like I love all the kids.....

I just wanted y'all to know, and even though it was hard to write, it had to be said.

Truthfully yours,
Jamie

P.S.
If your gonna leave a rude or hurtful comment, just keep it to your self....

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I don't even recognize MYSELF.....

I don't know how it happened.

Well actually, I do,

It's called Child-Birth and I did it 5 times......

Man-child and Girl-child are 20 months apart...

The last three a.k.a as The THINGS 1, 2, and 3... are all 13 months and 2 weeks apart.....

I guess that would do it......

That and the 5 c-sections i endured.

But I digress......

I used to be the girl who wore matching Bras and Panties....EVERY SINGLE DAY....
I used to be the girl who wore matching clothes...EVERY SINGLE DAY
I used to be the girl who put on makeup even when I KNEW that I did't have ANYWHERE to go that day..
I used to be the girl who put cool cucumbers under her eyes, and wore concealer under her eyes, and wore the blush that gave my skin a healthy glow...
I used to be the girl who shaved EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, least anyone see me with an unwanted hair.....
I used to be the girl who bought her Shampoo and Conditioner in the SALON....
I used to be the girl who changed purses just to match the shoes..
I used to be the girl who wanted everything to be just so perfect.....

And then......
Man-Child came, 6 weeks early, weighing at 7lbs 3 oz, 20 and 1/2 inches long, with shoulders like a Foot Ball Player (which he totally is, see earlier post)....
I weighed 218lbs the night I gave birth to him....after 15 hours of labor I had to have a C-section......Bummer......

And by the time he was 9 months old, I was working full time at a bank called South Trust Bank in Cullman, Alabama and the weight come off.

I looked pretty good, except for the little "flap" i had on my stomach that no matter what I did, didn't go away....
Hence, me getting pregnant with Girl-Child when Man-Child was only 1 year old.......

After having a rough pregnancy with Girl-child and weighing again at 220, I knew the weight would be harder to get off....
When she was 6 months old, i went to work full time at a little computer store called COMPUTER DYNAMICS, and I thought the weight would just melt off.....

Boy was I wrong....

But I did loose it eventually, the healthy way, riding bikes, and such....

Girl-child was born in 1997, and by 1998  I was at a good weight.
And I stayed that way until I got pregnant with Thing 1.....but this time I only weighed 170 when I had him....To me I felt skinny......
And it took me no time at all to loose that weight....

Then when Thing 1 was 4 months old, I found out that I was pregnant yet again.....
There went my tan, and I had just had my hair dyed blond....

When Thing 2 was born, again I was in the 170's and once again it came off pretty quickly...Except for my belly, and that little  big flap thing from my c-sections....
My OB doctor joked and asked if I wanted her to just put a zipper in......HILARIOUS...

We thought we were done, and named him J.R. so that at least one of our kids would be name after him....

And as if karma wanted to get a good laugh, when Thing 2 was 4 months old, and Thing 1 was 17 months old  I got that funny feeling in my stomach, and took a test....Guess what?
Shocker: I was PREGNANT AGAIN....

I didn't tell him right away......We lived in a tiny house and had a crib (for THING 1) and a bassinet (for THING 2) in our room, a set of bunk beds in one room for Man-Child and J.S. (remember, his mine and ours) then in the other tiny bedroom we had Girl Child and D.H.(see above).....needless to say we were stacked in like sardines, and had a kitchen the size of a matchbox, but it was affordable, and nice inside, and we had great neighbors...

So I waited until we were on the road for a family trip to Myrtle Beach for the grand opening of the Biggest (at that time) Bass Pro Shops, and to go to the Ripleys Aquarium to tell him. I figured he wouldn't freak out if there were little eyes watching him.....

He hid it pretty well, but when we got to the hotel room and he asked me if I was sure, (ummm, yes dodo bird, I've had 4 other kids, and I knew my body).....He walked out of the hotel and returned an hour later. Was he made at me because WE were pregnant again? No, he was just stressed the heck out about where to put this one, and was scared because THING 2 pregnancy was a scary one, filled with lots of hospital stays and bed rest and shots.....
GOD I LOVE THAT MAN.....

But GOD provided and we got a gorgeous 3 bedroom 2 bath, huge kitchen, 2 living rooms, a 2 sided fire place, and a dining room in a repossed  Mobile home, and found a nice 3 acre lot where the whole                     thing would be ours. Paid in cash, when a work accident got settled.
So that took the burden off Crazy Hubby about where we were going to put this baby......
We made the dining room into a Little boys room....*sniffle, sniffle* I lost my breakfast nook and bar and pretty cabinets, but we needed the room so we did it...

Then we turned the 2nd living room into a dinning room, complete with a fire place.

We kept the pregnancy a secret from July to December, when my mom and dad did and impromptu visit....My mom did't even notice the huge bump, because she just thought I was fat from having so may kids (THANKS MOM)....It wasn't until a friend stopped by with a gift and put her hand on my belly and said that she was hoping it was a girl......

YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A MOUSE FART....it was go quite..... My mom told me to get over to her....and then she put her hands on my belly and gasped.....
Yep, MERRY CHRISTMAS MOM.....my dad was just like "OH WELL, WHAT NEW, WHEN IS THE HAM GONNA BE DONE?"

With Crazy-Hubby's dad, well it was an entirely different situation. I sat in the floor holding THING 2 in my lap while we opened Christmas presents.....and then it happened...I had to get up off the floor, and I guess the way I did it, you could really see I was at this point 4 months pregnant or so....and he took off after my hubby....Aint never see my hubby back down to someone, but oh my, he backed down that day......
When asked when we were going to tell him...Crazy-Hubby answered in a shy voice..."When she had it"

Needless to say, Christmas was a fun filled event that day.......
*I need to say this, PopPop wan't mad at the baby, just mad at hubby for not telling him and for us being so financially strapped. He absolutely adores THING 3 and the other THINGS, and wouldn't have it any other way*

Oh, i guess I need to make my point about not even recognizing myself......

See when you become a Mom of Many, Things like matching undewear and bras take a back seat...so does shaving your legs (preferably both at the same time if you can manage to take a complete shower without having to get out to stop a fight, then forget that you haven't shaved the other)....
Other things like makeup, and matching outfits, Salon Shampoo and Conditioner, and smelling good. pffftts.... I HAVE AND I WILL AGAIN stay in my pj's all day long and so will my kids if I let them......

You see when you have kids, your selfish part of you goes away, and is replaced by.....
Oh, I could use a new bra, but the kids need new shoes/jackets/pants so you take care of them instead of   yourself....
Which is not bad in and of itself, but you kinda loose your self along the way......

Since my baby is now 7, i figure that it's time to kick start things and actually loose some weight. Or either smash all the mirrors, around this place......

This girl now goes:
 In un matching clothes, as long as they are clean....
I NEVER wear makeup anymore,
The SEXIEST THING IN MY DRAWER, IS A PAIR OF THONGS, THAT I WILL NEVER EVER WEAR..... I try all day long to get my underwear out of my butt, why by those ones that INTENTIONALLY  do it?
 Am I right?
 *cricket cricket*

Ahem. and makeup....pfft... I haven't bought any since before Taylor was born and i'm still using it today...I KNOW,I KNOW EWWWW....

I know my husband wants me to dress better, it's so easy for him...he just picks up shorts and shaves, and he looks terrific...
Me? I need magician to fix me up............
I can do it every now and again.....

And when I do, I catch a glimpse of that GIRL I USED TO BE......

I may be fatter now, and my wobbly bits hang a little low, but you cannot TIE THEM IN A BOW.......
But guess what, I'm OK with that.... My fat, and belly and stretch marks are BADGES OF HONOR.....
I housed 5 kids in there, and most of them for the full 40 week mark.....

So if you are offended at my extra padding, then i feel sorry for you.... I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

My husband loves me no matter what, and he did watch 3 c sections, and has literally seen my guts, and still loves me....
He has changed my sheets in the hospital when the staff wouldn't/couldn't.......
He's changed other things too, but I wont post about it......

Just so you can recognize me, I'm the one in Walmart in 1 of her 2 "going out outfits" dragging along 5 kids, most of them whining at one point or the other, that has like 3 carts full of groceries, all while wearing no makeup and my hair pulled up in a ponytail.....
......
Just In case I don't recognize myself, maybe you can.......
Jamie
I think

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Are you ready for some Football????

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.
All of us have been getting ready for the new South West High FootBall season. Getting Man-Child cleats, a face shield (he wears contacts), gotta get him some Line-Man gloves.

Plus all the other, getting ready to go back to school shopping. This just wears me out. We went and spent $200.00 bucks at Wal-Mart and still didn't get everything on their list.

And Man-Child and Girl-Child doesn't get their list until like the day before, and it just makes me crazy. So while everything is on sale, I get what I think they need, and the extra stuff for the house, and hope that I'm near enough right that they will just need a few extra things for High School.

Man-Child and Girl-Child go to the same high school now, her in 9th grade, him in 11th.
Girl-Child is at Freshman orientation right now, so I figured that I would type a few words here before I go back and get her. And being the kind brother he is *ahem* he is babysitting the fabulous Baby B for her to go (that's the baby she's sitting for for a few weeks)......

You should have seen the Foot Ball Scrimmage last night. Boy was it exciting!!!!
I got to watch about half of it because the THINGS cannot be trusted, and had to run, run, run everywhere.

I brought Girl-Child along to help, but after a few minutes she saw some friends that she hadn't seen all summer and went all gossiping goose on me....... Left me high and dry with the THINGS.....

Most of the pics I took turned out ok, I don't know how, because they were hanging on my legs, complaining that it was hot....etc......

I got some good pics of my baby, err, I mean Man-Child..... Wanna SEE?



As you can tell if Crazy-hubby and him were standing side by side, umm, Man-Child is taller, and bigger!

He was smiling because he had just creamed somebody.......I know, BARBARIC right? Wrong, I'm from Alabama, and I love me some High School Football!!!

How about a short clip to see him in action? He's number 78....


Now how about some of that?

Well, we have a full day ahead of us, with last minute doctors appointments, and life in general....So I hope to blog some more tonight. There is so much more to tell....

But at least you can look at the pictures and video's and smile....or cringe, if Foot Ball isn't your thing...

Ready for Some Foot Ball,
Jamie

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I'm JUST AVERAGE

As you can see, Girl-Child hacked my Blog....

See, I told you she was rotten...

Geesh, you can't even go pee without someone hacking your computer....

Wait, was that TMI?

Anyway, Today was a BLAH day.....

Last night we made an emergency trip to Pitt/Vidant to pick up a dear friend's teenage daughter. My friend T, son is in the hospital there, and has been for 4 days. She had taken her teenage daughter there, as they didn't dream that her son, The Awesome Austin would be in there so long.

Here's a pic of the cutie pie..... He's the one in the "Tire"

Right now he is having Multiple Seizures, High blood pressure, and a racing heart.....They are not sure why....Prayers are needed for the entire family....

Anyway, we picked up his crazy sister (her pic is on the blog, she's the one who WON the chicken fight)
and made a late night visit to Walmart.....

Have you ever noticed that "THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT"..... (HINT: WE WERE THE FREAKS)
I mean granted, it was like 2 am by the time we were there, and the kids had been stuck in the car for a total of 4 hours so we let them go in with us.....
BIG MISTAKE...
and I'm a bad mom..... since the place was pretty empty, we let them be a little more LOUD than normal in there. And to try to let them run off some of their energy......They were like wind up toys, and by the time they came home, they were all wound out.....
Thank God....

Then today was like HELL.... They phone was ringing for my daughter, she is soooo important apparently....the *ahem, boys* start calling early, then there's the conference calls between her best girls as to what is currently hip.... (which I by the way, am not , at least in Girl-Child's eyes). Everyone was grouchy from the trip, and off schedule.....which led to much whining, and complaining and crying on my part.........
Just kidding....

The day was stressful to say the least.....

But I was grateful that God had given us another day.......for the THINGS to pick fights, and Man-Child and Girl-Child to HATE EACH OTHER.........just joking, no i'm not.....ok i'm not joking about the part about being Grateful to God for another day, but i'm not joking about the THINGS fighting, And Man-Child and Girl Child Fighting.......

I am a MOM OF MANY, but sometimes I feel like I don't know what i'm doing.......like i'm lost.....
Sometimes, I just want to give up....
Sometimes, I just wanna stick my head in the sand and pretend that my name isn't MAMA....
Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed...
Sometimes I turn the dryer back on because I don't want to fold the laundry just yet....

And then Sometimes I feel like Super Mom....
When the house is clean,
and the laundry is done,
and everything is grand.......

But mainly I fall in between those two......

The Laundry might be clean, but the house is dirty....
The Kids are home, but they aren't happy....

And you want to know why?
Because I am an AVERAGE MOM.....

There I've said it.....

I mess up on a daily basis........I ask forgiveness on a daily basis........
I am a Average Mom...who happens to have Terrific kids.......

But at the end of the day,
When everyone's quite, and sleeping....
I talk to God, and ask to be a better Mother, and for more patience.....
But there is something I've learned about God....He answers in His times....
I know I'm not alone...... He chose me to be a MOM OF MANY.........
And that's what I struggle with daily....But i'm evolving, I think.......

All in all, I try to be the best Mom of Many I can be, and it's Hit or Miss most days....

I poke fun as a defense mechanism, which i'm sure you probably guessed.....
But that's me.....
Like me or love me...
I'll keep blogging right through it all.....

Average Mama,
Jamie

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Some of the things my kids have said and done today

Here's just a sampling of the things my kids have done and said to me today alone.

Now mind you i'm feeling a little under the weather, and so i have been directing chores from my bed, so here goes.

It's 8a.m. I get my Girl-Child and Man-Child up for church.
It's 8:15 and Girl-Child has already had a billion texts come thru...

Did I tell you we were only a 1 phone family...

We have Straight Talk phones for the Girl-Child and Man-child, but they have to earn the money for the phone cards....

It's 8:30 and i'm ready to slam the phone into the wall......didn't know Girl-child was so important....


Instead of being nice and quite for Mommie and Daddy, they proceed to wake up all the THINGS...


After the big ones have gone off to Church.....
I heard:
"I'm hungry"....i said "I laid out the bowls and spoons about 3 am last night,( because I could feel the sickness coming on) and i also laid out the cereal'...."ok...in a mopey tone, i was hoping for pancakes" THING1  said, not today hon, mommie doesn't feel good....

Fast forward about 15 minutes and I hear the distinct sound of Fruit loops hitting the Ground...hmmm.. I tried to wake dad up, but that wasn't happening so.....i staid real still and then I KNEW....I HEAR THE CAPTAIN CRUNCH BERRIES hitting the floor too....


So i yell for THING 1 and ask what was going on? He said, "oh nothing, ummm mom where are the kitchen towels?".... I knew I was in trouble then,,,

I let it go on to see if they would clean up there on mess....they are 9, 8, and 7 and more than capable to know some kitchen manners..

I was assured by all THINGS 1,2 AND 3 that all was cleared up, and that they were sorry......


I shouldn't have trusted them, but by then I felt like I could hurl, so I ask if they could go to there room and quitely watch a movie while I rested........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I feel into that MOM SLEEP.....where you are resting but still have your ear cocked to hear what's going on...


I heard : If you sneak in mom and dads room real quite, then you can steal daddy's gummy worms....
I heard: sneaking into my room while I pretend to snore....footsteps in, foot steps out...
Then I heard: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU PUT THOSE GUMMY WORMS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR? THING 3 (the baby, they always send him in for these jobs)....THING 3 say's I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER POCKETS, YOU WANT ONE OR NOT? (i imagine it was a meeting, then they decided to eat them)....

OH well, they are boys.....yucky boys.....


Next I heard: Lets sneak in and get the Turtle (see previous post , we just rescued a turtle) and see what all we can make him do.....ummmmm

I let them sneak in and much to their surprise, mom was in the bathroon *where said turtle was being held*.. THING 2, (the sweetest) asked "I thought you were sick and in the bed mommie" I said " i was, but even sick mommies need to potty"


PLAN THWARTED!!!


They went back to watching a movie....a.k.a plotting their next move....

I fell back to the MOM SLEEP...for a whole 20 minutes.....Then the D@mn phone rang again, and apparentley this kid didn't get the hint, until i texted the: DREADED TEXT

THIS IS NOT EMILY'S PERSONAL PHONE. IF YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH HER, SHES AT CHURCH AND WONT BE BACK TILL 1230....


I'm sure Girl-Child will be mortified by this.....teheee.... the little joys of parenting that we get....

I really fell asleep and was awoken to the sound of the shower.....hmmmm...the kids were giving the turtle a bath....WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING? GIVE ME THAT YOU LITTLE RATS...HE WAS JUST FINE IN THE WATER HE WAS IN....AND NO, HE DOESN'T NEED TO USE SOAP...GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!


The poor turtle looked at me like: "kill me know please"

Then the THINGS TOOK UP A NEW TASK.....BOUNCING THE BASKET BALL OFF OF THEIR WALL THAT AJOINS MY WALL.....


What is it about little boys that make it where they can't keep there little bodies still.......?

I woke up dad for this....It did no good......

I threated to GROUND THEM FOR LIFE....but apparetnlty i'm not very scary while under lots of covers with a Klenex hanging out my nose....

So I did what any good Mama would do *cough, cough*

I bid my time until Crazy-Hubby woke up....thhheeeehehehehe

HE WENT APE SH&T CRAZY......

So he made them clean up their room. FOR REAL, not the way I let them get away with....

Then he made them clean up the KITCHEN (they had totally lied to me) ALL OF IT.......

Then when Man-Child and Girl-child came home he made them fold all 10 loads of clothes.........* i would like to interject that since i wasn't feeling well, and not sleeping well I stayed up and washed and dried ABOUT 5 LOADS OF CLOTHES ...but just couldn't fold them* just saying.....

And then I heard: "AT LEAST MOM AINT AS MEAN AS DAD......"

PRICELESS........

a tissue shoved up one nostril, and crackers and soup to eat,

JAMIE

Saturday, August 4, 2012

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If you like anything you read on my blog, leave me a comment, I would love to hear from you good or bad. And if you like what you read here (or can barely stand it lol) take a few moments and join my network...It's not to hard, and will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, Plus we can get to know each other. I will respond to each comment..

Grateful for you readers,
Jamie

Tax free weekend: A cautionary tale of one girl and her 2 body guards....

Today in NC was tax free weekend...
translation...everybody and their mother was out trying to get all the things needed for our kids to go to school.
So I went, and took my two body guards with me. Crazy-Hubby, and Man-Child. All went well once you got a parking space, and got into the store..... There was a lot of snatching and grabing, but as i've mentioned before, I'm from Alabama and can get down right nasty if I have to be.....

I only had to snarl at two ladies before they decided to look elsewhere. I always get the THINGS their clothes from K-Mart because they go through clothes like i don't know what. As THING 1 gets older, he may start wanting to shop at different places, but for right now....they really don't care and they still get me to pick out there clothes.....I wasn't really all that difficult, because they weigh so close together...
THING 1 weighs 66, THING 2 weighs 58, and THING 3 weighs 63.....
so all i had to do was get THINGS 2, AND 3 size 6,7 shorts and size 8 shirts.
For THING 1 we got size 8 shorts, and 8/10 size shirts. The whole shopping trip took less than 2 hours.  
So I consider it a success!!!!

On another note, we almost ran over a turtle and my Crazy Hubby made Man-Child get out and get it, And guess what, we now have another mouth to feed, It is a yellow bellied slider turtle. We are going to get the correct home for it tomorrow, so we will see how that goes.

I guess all in all it was a boring day, nobody tried to run me over or anything. The parking was the hardest of it all.....So the body guards wasn't necessary, but we are going again tomorrow, so we may need the Security guards after all....

I'll take a picture of the turtle tomorrow and post on here. It's name is Bumbullbee .....you'll see why tomorrow....

TAXING OUT THIS WEEKEND,
JAMIE