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Saturday, August 11, 2012

I don't even recognize MYSELF.....

I don't know how it happened.

Well actually, I do,

It's called Child-Birth and I did it 5 times......

Man-child and Girl-child are 20 months apart...

The last three a.k.a as The THINGS 1, 2, and 3... are all 13 months and 2 weeks apart.....

I guess that would do it......

That and the 5 c-sections i endured.

But I digress......

I used to be the girl who wore matching Bras and Panties....EVERY SINGLE DAY....
I used to be the girl who wore matching clothes...EVERY SINGLE DAY
I used to be the girl who put on makeup even when I KNEW that I did't have ANYWHERE to go that day..
I used to be the girl who put cool cucumbers under her eyes, and wore concealer under her eyes, and wore the blush that gave my skin a healthy glow...
I used to be the girl who shaved EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, least anyone see me with an unwanted hair.....
I used to be the girl who bought her Shampoo and Conditioner in the SALON....
I used to be the girl who changed purses just to match the shoes..
I used to be the girl who wanted everything to be just so perfect.....

And then......
Man-Child came, 6 weeks early, weighing at 7lbs 3 oz, 20 and 1/2 inches long, with shoulders like a Foot Ball Player (which he totally is, see earlier post)....
I weighed 218lbs the night I gave birth to him....after 15 hours of labor I had to have a C-section......Bummer......

And by the time he was 9 months old, I was working full time at a bank called South Trust Bank in Cullman, Alabama and the weight come off.

I looked pretty good, except for the little "flap" i had on my stomach that no matter what I did, didn't go away....
Hence, me getting pregnant with Girl-Child when Man-Child was only 1 year old.......

After having a rough pregnancy with Girl-child and weighing again at 220, I knew the weight would be harder to get off....
When she was 6 months old, i went to work full time at a little computer store called COMPUTER DYNAMICS, and I thought the weight would just melt off.....

Boy was I wrong....

But I did loose it eventually, the healthy way, riding bikes, and such....

Girl-child was born in 1997, and by 1998  I was at a good weight.
And I stayed that way until I got pregnant with Thing 1.....but this time I only weighed 170 when I had him....To me I felt skinny......
And it took me no time at all to loose that weight....

Then when Thing 1 was 4 months old, I found out that I was pregnant yet again.....
There went my tan, and I had just had my hair dyed blond....

When Thing 2 was born, again I was in the 170's and once again it came off pretty quickly...Except for my belly, and that little  big flap thing from my c-sections....
My OB doctor joked and asked if I wanted her to just put a zipper in......HILARIOUS...

We thought we were done, and named him J.R. so that at least one of our kids would be name after him....

And as if karma wanted to get a good laugh, when Thing 2 was 4 months old, and Thing 1 was 17 months old  I got that funny feeling in my stomach, and took a test....Guess what?
Shocker: I was PREGNANT AGAIN....

I didn't tell him right away......We lived in a tiny house and had a crib (for THING 1) and a bassinet (for THING 2) in our room, a set of bunk beds in one room for Man-Child and J.S. (remember, his mine and ours) then in the other tiny bedroom we had Girl Child and D.H.(see above).....needless to say we were stacked in like sardines, and had a kitchen the size of a matchbox, but it was affordable, and nice inside, and we had great neighbors...

So I waited until we were on the road for a family trip to Myrtle Beach for the grand opening of the Biggest (at that time) Bass Pro Shops, and to go to the Ripleys Aquarium to tell him. I figured he wouldn't freak out if there were little eyes watching him.....

He hid it pretty well, but when we got to the hotel room and he asked me if I was sure, (ummm, yes dodo bird, I've had 4 other kids, and I knew my body).....He walked out of the hotel and returned an hour later. Was he made at me because WE were pregnant again? No, he was just stressed the heck out about where to put this one, and was scared because THING 2 pregnancy was a scary one, filled with lots of hospital stays and bed rest and shots.....
GOD I LOVE THAT MAN.....

But GOD provided and we got a gorgeous 3 bedroom 2 bath, huge kitchen, 2 living rooms, a 2 sided fire place, and a dining room in a repossed  Mobile home, and found a nice 3 acre lot where the whole                     thing would be ours. Paid in cash, when a work accident got settled.
So that took the burden off Crazy Hubby about where we were going to put this baby......
We made the dining room into a Little boys room....*sniffle, sniffle* I lost my breakfast nook and bar and pretty cabinets, but we needed the room so we did it...

Then we turned the 2nd living room into a dinning room, complete with a fire place.

We kept the pregnancy a secret from July to December, when my mom and dad did and impromptu visit....My mom did't even notice the huge bump, because she just thought I was fat from having so may kids (THANKS MOM)....It wasn't until a friend stopped by with a gift and put her hand on my belly and said that she was hoping it was a girl......

YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A MOUSE FART....it was go quite..... My mom told me to get over to her....and then she put her hands on my belly and gasped.....
Yep, MERRY CHRISTMAS MOM.....my dad was just like "OH WELL, WHAT NEW, WHEN IS THE HAM GONNA BE DONE?"

With Crazy-Hubby's dad, well it was an entirely different situation. I sat in the floor holding THING 2 in my lap while we opened Christmas presents.....and then it happened...I had to get up off the floor, and I guess the way I did it, you could really see I was at this point 4 months pregnant or so....and he took off after my hubby....Aint never see my hubby back down to someone, but oh my, he backed down that day......
When asked when we were going to tell him...Crazy-Hubby answered in a shy voice..."When she had it"

Needless to say, Christmas was a fun filled event that day.......
*I need to say this, PopPop wan't mad at the baby, just mad at hubby for not telling him and for us being so financially strapped. He absolutely adores THING 3 and the other THINGS, and wouldn't have it any other way*

Oh, i guess I need to make my point about not even recognizing myself......

See when you become a Mom of Many, Things like matching undewear and bras take a back seat...so does shaving your legs (preferably both at the same time if you can manage to take a complete shower without having to get out to stop a fight, then forget that you haven't shaved the other)....
Other things like makeup, and matching outfits, Salon Shampoo and Conditioner, and smelling good. pffftts.... I HAVE AND I WILL AGAIN stay in my pj's all day long and so will my kids if I let them......

You see when you have kids, your selfish part of you goes away, and is replaced by.....
Oh, I could use a new bra, but the kids need new shoes/jackets/pants so you take care of them instead of   yourself....
Which is not bad in and of itself, but you kinda loose your self along the way......

Since my baby is now 7, i figure that it's time to kick start things and actually loose some weight. Or either smash all the mirrors, around this place......

This girl now goes:
 In un matching clothes, as long as they are clean....
I NEVER wear makeup anymore,
The SEXIEST THING IN MY DRAWER, IS A PAIR OF THONGS, THAT I WILL NEVER EVER WEAR..... I try all day long to get my underwear out of my butt, why by those ones that INTENTIONALLY  do it?
 Am I right?
 *cricket cricket*

Ahem. and makeup....pfft... I haven't bought any since before Taylor was born and i'm still using it today...I KNOW,I KNOW EWWWW....

I know my husband wants me to dress better, it's so easy for him...he just picks up shorts and shaves, and he looks terrific...
Me? I need magician to fix me up............
I can do it every now and again.....

And when I do, I catch a glimpse of that GIRL I USED TO BE......

I may be fatter now, and my wobbly bits hang a little low, but you cannot TIE THEM IN A BOW.......
But guess what, I'm OK with that.... My fat, and belly and stretch marks are BADGES OF HONOR.....
I housed 5 kids in there, and most of them for the full 40 week mark.....

So if you are offended at my extra padding, then i feel sorry for you.... I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

My husband loves me no matter what, and he did watch 3 c sections, and has literally seen my guts, and still loves me....
He has changed my sheets in the hospital when the staff wouldn't/couldn't.......
He's changed other things too, but I wont post about it......

Just so you can recognize me, I'm the one in Walmart in 1 of her 2 "going out outfits" dragging along 5 kids, most of them whining at one point or the other, that has like 3 carts full of groceries, all while wearing no makeup and my hair pulled up in a ponytail.....
......
Just In case I don't recognize myself, maybe you can.......
Jamie
I think

1 comment:

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