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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Some of the things my kids have said and done today

Here's just a sampling of the things my kids have done and said to me today alone.

Now mind you i'm feeling a little under the weather, and so i have been directing chores from my bed, so here goes.

It's 8a.m. I get my Girl-Child and Man-Child up for church.
It's 8:15 and Girl-Child has already had a billion texts come thru...

Did I tell you we were only a 1 phone family...

We have Straight Talk phones for the Girl-Child and Man-child, but they have to earn the money for the phone cards....

It's 8:30 and i'm ready to slam the phone into the wall......didn't know Girl-child was so important....


Instead of being nice and quite for Mommie and Daddy, they proceed to wake up all the THINGS...


After the big ones have gone off to Church.....
I heard:
"I'm hungry"....i said "I laid out the bowls and spoons about 3 am last night,( because I could feel the sickness coming on) and i also laid out the cereal'...."ok...in a mopey tone, i was hoping for pancakes" THING1  said, not today hon, mommie doesn't feel good....

Fast forward about 15 minutes and I hear the distinct sound of Fruit loops hitting the Ground...hmmm.. I tried to wake dad up, but that wasn't happening so.....i staid real still and then I KNEW....I HEAR THE CAPTAIN CRUNCH BERRIES hitting the floor too....


So i yell for THING 1 and ask what was going on? He said, "oh nothing, ummm mom where are the kitchen towels?".... I knew I was in trouble then,,,

I let it go on to see if they would clean up there on mess....they are 9, 8, and 7 and more than capable to know some kitchen manners..

I was assured by all THINGS 1,2 AND 3 that all was cleared up, and that they were sorry......


I shouldn't have trusted them, but by then I felt like I could hurl, so I ask if they could go to there room and quitely watch a movie while I rested........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I feel into that MOM SLEEP.....where you are resting but still have your ear cocked to hear what's going on...


I heard : If you sneak in mom and dads room real quite, then you can steal daddy's gummy worms....
I heard: sneaking into my room while I pretend to snore....footsteps in, foot steps out...
Then I heard: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU PUT THOSE GUMMY WORMS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR? THING 3 (the baby, they always send him in for these jobs)....THING 3 say's I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER POCKETS, YOU WANT ONE OR NOT? (i imagine it was a meeting, then they decided to eat them)....

OH well, they are boys.....yucky boys.....


Next I heard: Lets sneak in and get the Turtle (see previous post , we just rescued a turtle) and see what all we can make him do.....ummmmm

I let them sneak in and much to their surprise, mom was in the bathroon *where said turtle was being held*.. THING 2, (the sweetest) asked "I thought you were sick and in the bed mommie" I said " i was, but even sick mommies need to potty"


PLAN THWARTED!!!


They went back to watching a movie....a.k.a plotting their next move....

I fell back to the MOM SLEEP...for a whole 20 minutes.....Then the D@mn phone rang again, and apparentley this kid didn't get the hint, until i texted the: DREADED TEXT

THIS IS NOT EMILY'S PERSONAL PHONE. IF YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH HER, SHES AT CHURCH AND WONT BE BACK TILL 1230....


I'm sure Girl-Child will be mortified by this.....teheee.... the little joys of parenting that we get....

I really fell asleep and was awoken to the sound of the shower.....hmmmm...the kids were giving the turtle a bath....WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING? GIVE ME THAT YOU LITTLE RATS...HE WAS JUST FINE IN THE WATER HE WAS IN....AND NO, HE DOESN'T NEED TO USE SOAP...GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!


The poor turtle looked at me like: "kill me know please"

Then the THINGS TOOK UP A NEW TASK.....BOUNCING THE BASKET BALL OFF OF THEIR WALL THAT AJOINS MY WALL.....


What is it about little boys that make it where they can't keep there little bodies still.......?

I woke up dad for this....It did no good......

I threated to GROUND THEM FOR LIFE....but apparetnlty i'm not very scary while under lots of covers with a Klenex hanging out my nose....

So I did what any good Mama would do *cough, cough*

I bid my time until Crazy-Hubby woke up....thhheeeehehehehe

HE WENT APE SH&T CRAZY......

So he made them clean up their room. FOR REAL, not the way I let them get away with....

Then he made them clean up the KITCHEN (they had totally lied to me) ALL OF IT.......

Then when Man-Child and Girl-child came home he made them fold all 10 loads of clothes.........* i would like to interject that since i wasn't feeling well, and not sleeping well I stayed up and washed and dried ABOUT 5 LOADS OF CLOTHES ...but just couldn't fold them* just saying.....

And then I heard: "AT LEAST MOM AINT AS MEAN AS DAD......"

PRICELESS........

a tissue shoved up one nostril, and crackers and soup to eat,

JAMIE

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