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Friday, October 26, 2012

Drama should be our last names

Hi There.....
A lot has been going on since my last post....
You remember the one, where my husband wrecked MY mini-van....
Need a reminder?
Here's one:


Then after that came the dreaded (by me) high school Homecoming Game, and Homecoming Dance.
Seeing as Man-Child is on the Varsity football team (9-1), and Girl Child is 15, and got invited by a 10th grader things were crazy here......So with 2 kids going, there was much crying, whining, complaining, and just general grouchiness....and that was by me... LOL....

There was a lot going on, and decisions had to be made about what time to come home.............and no, Girl-Child 1 am, IS NEVER GOING TO BE THE RIGHT TIME FOR YOU TO COME HOME......

But Man-Child is 17 y/o and was going to an after party for the football players, and I didn't give him a time to come home.....ever heard of the saying give someone enough rope, and they will hang themselves???  That's what we were doing for our son.......The Dance ended at 11:00, and the after party started after that.....he pulled up at 2:02 am........
I had it all planned.....he wouldn't come home, and i'd have to go to get him....and I was going to go in my ugliest pj's with my hair in curlers, and a baseball bat and, um, convince him to come on home.....
Thank God he and everyone there was spared from that........



That's Girl Child's date.....aren't they sweet?

Girl-Childs ex-boyfriend is giving her grief, and me and her dad is one text away from putting a foot up his butt....either that or let my Man-Child who is 6ft4 and weighs 260, and plays football everyday, get a hold on him....
I know, BAD MAMA....
*I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT I WOULD NEVER SET MAN CHILD LOOSE ON ANYONE, AND I WOULD NOT PUT MY FOOT UP THAT EX TURD MY DAUGHTER HAD DATED BUTT, BUT I WILL AND HAVE CALLED THE COPS FOR HARASSMENT*

OK, I've said my peace on that.....

On a lighter note, I was taking my pit-bull (yes you read that right, we have a pit bull and he is an angel, don't hate the breed) for a walk and I had his leash around my wrist while I made sure that the front door was closed all the way.....Well picture this: me being pulled down my steps face first and dragged in the dirt before he finely  realized that he was in serious trouble and then he stayed still...(AS IT TURNS OUT A NEIGHBORHOOD GIRL DOG IS IN HEAT AND MAKING HIM CRAZY) as I stood up I knew he had pulled my wrist out of socket, and I had angry welts and bruising on my left arm.....When my husband came home, he laughed (the JERK) and said at least I was um, well endowed, as it saved me from my face being scraped on the steps on the way down.....hahahaha....

The song "Earl had to die" by the Dixie Chicks comes to mind......and I do have some black eyed peas.......
Just joking, no i'm not, yes I am.........I think.......

So you see, Drama just seems to find us.....
I wonder if there is a Witness Protection Program for like Drama Families?

I'll leave you with one more pic of my Man-Child..... Number 78.....He's my baby....


Drama filled house full of testosterone, and never a Drama Queen herself,
Jamie

Friday, October 5, 2012

Why does life HAVE to be SO STINKING HARD?

I mean really, come on......I don't know what I did to piss KARMA off, but she is sure kicking my butt from here to there....

Things were looking good.... I got my laundry room floor replaced, and got the parts in for fixing my newish front load washer....I even found $5.00 in the laundry!!! (oh, for those that don't know me, If I find something in the laundry that I have washed and dried, then it TOTALLY becomes mine....I am currently in possession of 2 blue pens, half a pencil, a marker that was washed with good clothes, and a eraser)..

Crazy-Hubby cooked 2 WHOLE NIGHTS IN A ROW.....and the kids cleaned up!!!!!

I should have known that KARMA, or something like it was gonna hit me in the face hard......but I didn't see this one coming.....

Wanna know what it is?

And for Pete's sake, I ain't pregnant again MOM!!!

My mini-van has wrecked itself....all by itself I promise....Scouts Honor???? Oh well, PLUCK IT here goes:

It was raining and my CRAZY-HUBBY wanted to get the mail, but not get soaking wet...So he went in MY VAN!!!

just a side note here: we live in the country people....down a long dirt road.....so it's not as easy as slipping on your robe and flip-flops and walking 20 feet to your mail box.....

OK, so were was I?

Oh yeah, I was at the part where my CRAZY HUBBY, who has seizures (but had been seizure free for about 7 months) took the Van to get the mail.....

I mean what are the odds that he would: get the mail just fine, but because it was raining and the side of the road is muddy, He was driving to the end of the road where there is room to turn around and before he could get there....

 HE HAD A STINKING SEIZURE, HIS FOOT PUSHED THE GAS PEDAL HARDER AND HE HIT A ELECTRICITY POLE, AND HIS HEAD HIT THE WINDSHIELD CRACKING IT INTO LITTLE SPIDER WEBS.....





                      
I had the tv on and was on the computer and I didn't hear anything, and was actually pissed that the Electricity was off.... Meanwhile CRAZY HUBBY was knocked unconscious for a few minutes, managed to get out of the van....AND WALK HOME, WHILE BLEEDING FROM HIS HEAD, AND BRUISES ON HIS CHEST FROM NOT HAVING A SEAT BELT ON!!!!

He came in very calmly and told me that I needed to help him....and I'm all like WHAT? I AM READING A ARTICLE ABOUT SNOOKIE'S BABY AND YOU WANT ME TO STOP???????

THAT'S WHEN HE STEP INTO THE LIGHT....AND I KNEW.....

He held steady long enough to get the dump truck going and haul the crushed minivan out of the road, and I limped back to the house.....

And then he blacked out.....BUT NOT BEFORE HE TOLD THE NEIGHBORS TO WATCH FOR THINGS 1, 2 AND 3 to be getting off the bus.....

What a MAN....

From previous experience we know that it takes about 40 minutes for an ambulance to get here, so I make a
LEAP OF FAITH move and drove the Van to pick up the 2 oldest kids, and go the hospital.....
When we got there, they took him straight back to give him a CT scan......
The result: moderate brain injury, a concussion  and contusions......not to mention the AWESOME not he has on his head or the bruises on his chest....They keep us there for about 12 hours, and they wanted to admit him, but there was no beds there, and they would have to take him to Greenville.....My husband declined, and said that we could do the same things that they are doing at the hospital, so we came home.....

It's a miracle that he didn't get hurt worse, or killed.....
We have Full Coverage insurance on the van, but have a high deductible, so we are just gonna have to try to fix it with duct tape, and Zip-Ties....
We are replacing the left cv axle as I type this (and when I say we I mean CRAZY-HUBBY & his friend C)
We will have to have the drivers side panel replaced......
A new head light and blinkers too...
A whole new bumper....
And a new Windshield......

As far as CRAZY-HUBBY GOES, he is having trouble with forming the right words in a sentence...he is off balance, he can't eat or sleep....sometimes doesn't remember who I am, and where he's at....but the doctor told us that it could be that way for a few days....and that he would hurt for a few Weeks...

Lesson learned here: don't let CRAZY HUBBY'S  Bootie even set in the drivers seat....and hide the keys...

WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO STINKING HARD?

So we can appreciate the little things........
and because GOD and KARMA have a Heck of a sense of humor!!!!

HAVING A CRUSH ON MY MAN, AND JUST HAVING A CRUSHED MINI-VAN,
JAMIE

P.S. here's a bonus picture of the OTHER side of my van, that until last weekend looked good...What you are actually seeing is MAN-CHILDS butt impression while he was trying to help get the van unstuck...