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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Cool Whip Totally count's as breakfast right? It does if your about to watch MAGIC MIKE!!!!

AHHHHH...

All the kiddo's are gone to school....

2nd load of laundry is in washing machine now....

Dog has been watered and fed......

Hubby is heavily sedated...........

And I am eating Cool Whip....from the bowl, with a spoon......that I lick each time.....

And I Ain't gonna tell the kids.....nope, not until I serve it with pie at desert tonight....and then I think I will wait for them to all have a big mouthful of pie and Cool Whip....and then let them know that I ATE FROM THE BOWL AND LICKED THE SPOON EVERYTIME... Neineerr, neineer.....

You might ask why? 

If you must know: ON A DAILY BASIS I USUALLY CATCH SOMEONE EITHER DRINKING STRAIGHT FROM THE MILK JUG, ORANGE JUICE, OR 2 LITER SODA.......and it's DISGUSTING.......

So I'm gonna try it, and see what the appeal is to do it.....

Here goes:

LICK, SLURP, AND BACK IN THE BOWL.......

Teheee....

OMG, I totally get it... see you can have some of the deliciousness without having to leave evidence behind....like no extra bowl for Mom to wash, no extra cup.....it will be like you never did it right?

NOT A CHANCE

But their theory is flawed? How may you ask?
Well for starters, I can totally tell when someone's been in my Cool Whip,
Second, I CAN SEE THE BACKWASH FLOATING IN THE 2 LITER SODA.... 
and 3rd....I know ALL (it's a gift y'all, don't hate)

Oh, but back to why i'm eating Cool Whip at 9 am, besides to get some payback to my kids?????????????
And why is Hubby Heavily Sedated?

Cause I'm about to watch......MAGIC MIKE......WITH CHANNING TATUMN.....

OK for my sister Cheryl.......It is totally a movie about MAGIC TRICKS.....Kay????

And for everyone else, it is gonna be 1 hour of Cool Whip Spoon Licking Deliciousness.......I'm gonna fast forward thru all those, um compromising scenes...YEAH RIGHT....
I meant to type, I will be fast forwarding thru all the non-essential scenes......

And i'm leaving the Cool Whip beside me, because I AM AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO ME IF I LICKED MY TV SCREEN........
hmmm, to bad my little one's at school.....I could give him a dollar to LICK THE TV and see what happens...
Just kidding, no need to call Child Services, I would never make my kid LICK THE TV......
I might like, peek around the corner if one of the kiddo's double dogged dared the other one to LICK THE TV.......but wouldn't everyone?

So, no one call for the next hour or so...
..I'll be watching MAGIC MIKE, and LICKING THE TV, I MEAN COOL WHIP SPOON......

Oh, and don't come over.....you know, in case I can't control myself and I LICK THE TV SCREEN, AND LIKE GET STUCK TO IT LIKE THAT ONE CHRISTMAS SHOW WHERE THE KIDS TONGUE GETS STUCK TO THE POLE.....
OR, IF I GET ELECTROCUTED, IT WOULDN'T BE A PRETTY SIGHT....

So.....I'm off to LICK watch MAGIC MIKE..........
And if anyone see's or talks to my Mama, or my sister Cheryl.....IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT MAGIC TRICKS.....KAY?????PLEASE????

Off to lick the Cool Whip Spoon,
And Maybe find a little of the "ME" i've been looking for...(see previous post)

Jamie

PS
I'll let you know how it was.....after I've recovered and washed the Cool Whip from my chin.......

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