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Thursday, March 21, 2013

What do I do now that my "LITTLE'S" aren't Little anymore?

This April, the 22nd to be exact, I will be having a Car Seat bond fire.

You see for the last 17 years and 8 months I will have had at least one baby car seat in my car.

But Alas, My Littlest will turn 8......8.......OMG MY LITTLEST BABY WILL TURN 8!!!!!!!

And I don't know what to do.......

For so long, in conversations I have referred to my kids as The Big Kids, The Middle Kids, And the Little's....

Now what do I do?

Man-Child will be 18 in June, Girl-Child just turned 16 on the 15th....

OMG !!!!! MY GIRL-CHILD IS 16 NOW......LORD HELP ME NOW...

J is 17, D is 14........(his,mine, and ours)

And the Little's? Thing 1 turned 10 in Jan, Thing 2 turned 9 on the 8th.....and Thing 3 will be 8.......

Again I ask "What do I do now?"

I feel my grip on the Big Kids slipping away every second......

And the Little's? I had to buy Thing 1 deodorant........

I feel like my life around me is going in fast forward, but me? I'm standing still......

Still trying to figure out how the Big kids got so big so fast......
And how Thing 1 now needs deodorant....
Still trying to figure out how Girl Child turned 16, and has a steady boyfriend....A FREAKIN' BOYFRIEND

So now I'm left with the feeling of not being needed as much as I used to.....
It's funny, all I used to think about was having a moment when I'm not needed......
fast forward to now, and I'm not needed as much....

Oh sure, I am still the finder of lost socks, washer of the dirty uniforms, still the cooker of the meals..........
But with all the technology that there is today....I'm often think I'm having a conversation with Girl-Child, only to realize that she is on the phone with someone else, and has no idea what I'm saying to her.....
And Man-Child? He's a NC State High School Football Champion, whose mother knows nothing at all......
The Little's? hmmph.... I try to tell them to do there chores, and I have to yell over either the radio in their room or the X-Box in the living room.....

Don't get me wrong, I still have to break up fights, still have heart to heart talks with the Big Kids (although sometimes it's in the form of texting).....

And the Little's still don't like Thunderstorms, and come and jump in the bed  with me during the night.....

I'm still the Kisser of the Boo-Boo's......The shoulder to cry on when someones had a bad day........

But I feel it deep in my bones..... This SEPARATION.....This Crushing of my heart.....

In short, I feel the Umbilical Cord being cut...... PERMANENTLY......

Now I know from experience that being a Mom never stops.....I call my mom at the drop of a hat......and talk about everything from TV shows to my period.......

But I remember being so STUBBORN at 17 that I made my mom sign the papers for me to get married...

And I pray to God, that I have at least taught them not to go down the same road I went down.....down...down......

I mean what do you do when your littlest is turning 8, and you know FOR A FACT that you will not have anymore babies?

I'm only 23  37 and my oldest is almost 18......
So I was married at 17, pregnant at 18, gave birth to Man-Child at 19....
Was pregnant again at 20, and had Girl Child at 21.........
Then Thing 1 came at 27, Thing 2 was right on his heels at 28, and Thing 3 at 29....that's right, they were all 13 months and 2 weeks apart.....

I know I got years to go before they are all out of here......
But still, I can feel it on the Horizon........
And I'm not happy about it.....

Heart already breaking before the dawn,

J







2 comments:

  1. The story of life, TIME MARCHES ON !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know.....but it is hard to swallow sometimes....

      Delete

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