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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Barely making ends meet

Do you ever feel like you are going to just be swallowed whole by this thing we call life?

Well, if you haven't then Congrat's to you.
Right now, it feels like we are going to go under.
Bills, Taxes, Insurance, Food, Clothes, College, Gas.....I mean everything......................

My head is in a place that I don't like it to be......

Jobs are scarce......

And Me? I'm just scared.....

We knew going into this journey of having a large family and everything that goes along with it would be hard.

We felt we were up to the Challenge.....

Now, I'm not so sure........

They way the world is today is not the same way it was when we started on this journey.....

We are barely making ends meet, and we have already trimmed and trimmed our budget, until it can't be trimmed any more.
We have no cable, or satellite....everybody gets just what they NEED to go to school, but not what they WANT..
They get to watch their friends get I Pads, and I Phones, and laptops, and shop at Ambercrombie and upscale shops......while they don't.

They get to watch their friends get brand new cars, or close to brand new.....

When we drive a 93 Suburban, and Man Child has a 88 Chevy....

However, both kids are popular and well liked, but judged non the less....

We drive old cars, all paid for.......

We don't make unnecessary trips into town....

We do take our older ones to a school that is out of our district, so that they can go to the better school....
That means no bus service, and we live in the sticks, so alot of  our money goes to taking them back and forth to school....BUT WE BELIEVE IN THIS WHOLEHEARTEDLY ......
Education is very important to us.....

Credit cards? We don't have them.........
It's cash or we go without.....................

Hence, we haven't had central air in 2 summers, but make due with window units......

But we are on an edge, and I feel one foot dangling off the cliff........with my husband trying to hold on to me to keep me from going over....
I guess that's a good metaphor.........

We own our own house, and land....paid for.....but the taxes have nearly tripled since they have decided to start making subdivisions out here in the country....
We moved to get away from the suburbs......
We bought land so we would not be bothered by anyone....(also, it's kinda hard to get someone to rent to someone with as many kids as us!)

But the Suburbs came to us, and made our land and house value up (i know, most people would be like yippee) but all that did for us was to make our taxes go way way up.....
And since we have no intent to sell our home, the property value doesn't matter then.

I don't know how to cut the budget anymore.....other than using candles and oil lamps at night, and only taking showers every other Sunday....(that's a joke people)

I am very thankful for a roof over our heads, and that our kids are healthy....and everybody is doing good in school....
I an thankful that my husband now only has to take his insulin once or twice a day, depending on the numbers....When he was first diagnosed, he was on insulin 4 times daily....

So don't get me wrong....I'm not trying to to throw a big pity party.....
I just wanted to express how i'm feeling.....

I mean, has anyone else felt this way?

When we decided to have a big family it was also decided that I would be a stay at home mom..
But illness, and accidents have made that almost impossible......

I've been out of the job market for so long, i'm only qualified to work at a fast food restaurant, or bag groceries......

When once upon a time.... I was a dental assistant

And then 3 years later, and Office Manager to a thriving computer business........
And I was good at both jobs....

We are trying to hang on, but it seems like we are circling the drain......

Anyone else out there feel me? Or am I totally alone in this?

BARELY MAKING ENDS MEET.

Jamie


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